Introduction
The world of international sales is a high-stakes game of chess, played across time zones and cultural nuances. A single misstep, a poorly worded email, or a misinterpreted silence can unravel months of painstaking negotiation.
I learned this lesson the hard way, almost losing a significant international distribution deal – a deal that represented a major breakthrough for our company – due to a series of assumptions and a lack of empathy in my communication.
This wasn’t about a bad product or a mismatched market; it was purely about communication. Here’s how I fumbled, and then, miraculously, recovered it in just three critical emails.
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The Fumble: Email 1 – The Presumptuous Follow-Up
We were deep into negotiations with a major European distributor for our new animated series. The initial meetings had gone incredibly well, full of enthusiasm and mutual understanding.
We had discussed terms, delivery schedules, and marketing support. I felt confident, perhaps too confident. After our last video call, I sent what I thought was a perfectly professional follow-up.
- What I sent: “Dear [Distributor Name], Following our productive discussion, we are pleased to confirm our understanding of the proposed terms for the [Series Name] deal. Please find attached the revised agreement for your final review and signature. We look forward to receiving the signed document by end of day Friday.”
- What I meant: “Great call! Let’s get this wrapped up quickly so we can move forward.”
- What they likely heard (or felt): “We’ve dictated the terms, and now you just need to sign on the dotted line. We expect this done by Friday, no questions asked.”
The silence that followed was deafening. Friday came and went. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday – nothing. My initial confidence curdled into anxiety.
Had I misread the room? Had something gone wrong on their end?
I was losing sleep, replaying every word of our last conversation. The deal, which had felt so close, now seemed to be slipping through my fingers.
My mistake was clear in hindsight: I had assumed a level of urgency and directness that wasn’t appropriate for their cultural context, and I had presented a “final” document without explicitly inviting further discussion or acknowledging potential concerns.
I had treated it as a done deal, rather than a collaborative next step.
The Recovery Attempt: Email 2 – The Apology and Re-engagement
Panic began to set in. My boss was asking for updates, and I had none.
I knew I needed to act, but another pushy email would surely seal the deal’s fate. I took a deep breath and decided on a different approach: humility and a genuine offer to understand.
- What I sent: “Dear [Distributor Name], I hope this email finds you well. I wanted to follow up on our recent conversation and the agreement I sent over last week. I realize my previous email may have been a bit too direct in its request for a quick turnaround, and I sincerely apologize if it came across as presumptuous or put any undue pressure on your team.My intention was simply to maintain momentum, but I understand that your internal processes may require more time. Please know that we are incredibly excited about the prospect of partnering with you on [Series Name] and truly value your insights and collaboration.
Is there anything at all that we can clarify or assist with from our end? We are completely open to further discussion and want to ensure you feel comfortable and confident moving forward. Please let me know how we can best support your review process. Best regards, [My Name]”
- What I meant: “Oh my god, I messed up. Please don’t walk away. What can I do to fix this? I value you!”
- What they likely heard (or felt): “Ah, he understands. He’s listening. We can talk.”
This email was a game-changer. Within hours, I received a response.
It was polite, professional, and explained that they had indeed felt rushed and had a few minor points they wanted to discuss, but hadn’t felt comfortable raising them given my previous “final” tone. They appreciated my apology and openness.
The door, which I thought was slammed shut, was now ajar. This email demonstrated empathy, cultural awareness (even if belatedly), and a willingness to collaborate rather than dictate. It shifted the dynamic from a transactional demand to a partnership invitation.
The Win-Back: Email 3 – The Collaborative Solution
Now that communication was re-established, the goal was to address their concerns swiftly and collaboratively.
- What I sent: “Dear [Distributor Name], Thank you so much for your prompt and candid response. I truly appreciate your understanding and your willingness to share your feedback. We are absolutely committed to making this partnership a success for both parties.Please feel free to send over your specific points for discussion at your earliest convenience, or if it’s easier, we would be happy to schedule a brief call to walk through them together. Our priority is to ensure the agreement reflects a mutually beneficial partnership.
We are ready to make any necessary adjustments to ensure your comfort and confidence. Looking forward to hearing from you. Best regards, [My Name]”
- What I meant: “Tell me what you need, and I’ll make it happen. Let’s solve this together.”
- What they likely heard (or felt): “He’s truly listening and flexible. This is a partner we can work with.”
This third email cemented the recovery.
They sent their minor revisions, we quickly incorporated them, and the signed deal memo arrived within 48 hours.
The entire crisis, born from a single presumptuous email, was averted by two emails that prioritized empathy, apology, and a collaborative spirit. It was a stark reminder that in international business, understanding cultural communication styles and valuing the relationship above the immediate transaction is paramount.
Key Takeaways:
- Cultural Nuance is Critical: What’s direct and efficient in one business culture can be perceived as pushy or disrespectful in another. Research and adapt your communication style.
- Assumptions Kill Deals: Never assume a deal is done until the ink is dry. Always leave room for discussion and acknowledge potential concerns.
- Empathy is Your Best Tool: When a deal goes silent, don’t push harder. Instead, offer empathy, apologize for any missteps, and genuinely ask how you can help.
- Relationships Over Transactions: International sales are built on trust and long-term relationships. Prioritizing the comfort and confidence of your partner will yield better results than a purely transactional approach.
- Be Prepared to Pivot: When faced with resistance or silence, be ready to change your approach, listen actively, and offer solutions collaboratively.
Frequently Asked Questions
Beyond general guides, look for specific business etiquette resources for the country you’re dealing with. If possible, consult colleagues or mentors who have experience in that region. Pay attention to how they communicate with you. Sometimes, observing their response time and formality can give clues.
It varies, but a good starting point is to allow at least 24-48 hours for a response after a significant discussion or document exchange. If you don’t hear back, wait a bit longer before sending a gentle, non-demanding follow-up. Avoid same-day or next-day aggressive follow-ups unless explicitly requested.
While there’s no guarantee, it’s almost never too late to try. A sincere apology and a genuine offer to understand and resolve issues can often reopen doors that seemed closed. The key is sincerity and a willingness to change your approach.
Focus on framing requests as invitations for collaboration. Instead of “Send by Friday,” try “Would Friday work for your team to review, or do you anticipate needing more time?” or “We’re aiming for Friday, but please let us know if that timeline presents any challenges.” Always offer flexibility and support.
If a second, empathetic follow-up yields no response after a reasonable period (e.g., another 3-5 business days), it might be time to consider the deal truly dead, or to reach out through an alternative contact if one exists, with a very brief, non-pressuring check-in. Sometimes, silence does mean “no,” but it’s always worth trying the empathetic approach first.